How to make a set of vegan entrails

You know how it is.....

You've just finished getting ready for a hot date, and are finalising the vital touches to your ensemble, when you realise....

Oh no ! Entrails aren't vegan ! OMFG, what will I do !?

Well !
Never fear, for vegan entrails are here !

Enjoy !!!

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How to make entrails

Source : Mary Robinette Kowalle .com
7th of May, 2009

To make entrails takes very few supplies.

Your shopping list looks like this.

* Unlubricated condoms
* KY Jelly
* Food coloring [For vegan entrails, you'll want to get the plant-based, cochineal-free kind ~ Firebird]
* Press and Seal wrap
* Fake blood [Again, for vegan entrails, make sure to get plant-based, cochineal-free kinds ~ Firebird]

Filling the condom :
Start by filling the condoms with KY Jelly. You’ll need about one tube of KY per condom. Add a little bit of food coloring, but don’t worry about mixing it evenly. I use 1 drop green to 3 drops red, personally. Tie each condom off making a whole bunch of individual of links.

Note: The KY usually makes really impressive farting noises.

The detritus I had a student helping me make these and she took some of the supplies home to finish up. Her boyfriend came in while the room looked like this.

I think he was sad that he hadn’t been invited over earlier.

And you should see the people at the checkout line when you buy 20 boxes of KY jelly. It’s a fun job.

Lay the condoms out on the Press and Seal. Normally, I don’t get specific about a brand, but this stuff is great for intestines. Because it’s self sticking, it adheres well to itself. The slight pebbly texture and the translucents can pass as viscera.

Notice how the condoms are all different colors. That helps create the illusion of food passing through.

Deckle the edges of wrap so that you eliminate a crisp line. Straight edges almost never occur in nature and certainly not in the human body. Making the edge uneven also means that you’ll have varying degrees of overlap on the wrap so the opacity will vary.

Dip the entrails into stage blood, most of which has the lovely property of looking wet even when it’s dry. Do test this and be aware that humidity will slow the drying down and make them sticky. Once they’ve dried, they’ll look wet and freshly extracted but without all that messy residue.

If you leave them drying in the shower, as I did, I highly recommend that you leave a note so that no one is startled upon finding them

Thanks!

No problem !

The spectacular EntailsNOT(tm) can also make a splendid focal point and conversation starter, at parties !